"How did I lose myself?!!" - How to Regain & Maintain Your Center

How many times have you found yourself asking that question, "How did I lose myself?" Women, by nature are very nurturing and compassionate creatures. We have a lot of strength, and large capacity to love and give. Because of this, we often times carry others' weight and take on the emotional load of their issues and conditions. We are willing to give of ourselves to make others' situations better or to aid them in growth and bettering themselves. In the meantime, we aren't able to give ourselves that same attention and care. Whether it be a significant other, family, friends, or children. We feel this sense of being "called to duty," so to speak, to be the backbone of any situation. We become the carrier and bearer of the load.

How do we constantly get to this place?

How do we learn to simply take care of ourselves sometimes? Protect ourselves?

Do you sometimes find yourself in a place where you wonder, "What happened to my passion, my hobbies? How do I regain that place, the center, my source and my foundation? And if I do regain it how do I stay there?"

Here is what I suggest to regain and maintain your Center:

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  First, and most important, is to always make time for yourself. In my times of great emotional turmoil and confusion, I was able to realize just how out of touch I was with my Creator and that inner voice of wisdom and guidance that is in each of us. I was so engulfed in my situations and stress that I became deceived by poor perception and caught up in emotion. I vowed to start making time for myself to be rejuvenated and to restore clarity. Set a ritual, whether it be once a week, every morning before you start your day, or one full day all to yourself once a month. Do something during that time that restores and strengthens you. I myself, find clarity by being outside with nature. Whether I'm sitting on the porch with a glass of wine or coffee, or out on a park bench gazing at a beautiful body of water, I sit with myself (not alone, with my Self) and I am restored. You may prefer reading in a cafe, getting a pedicure, riding your bike, taking a walk or jogging. Whatever it is find your way. Always make time to be with yourself and indulge in your uniqueness and loving tenderness toward yourself.

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  Meditate. This is also imperative. Many times when we are in the midst of crisis we pray and plead and bargain with God to move us out of the situation. But think about it, how often do we take the time to sit intimately with ourselves, remove ourselves from external surface issues, go deeper and simply listen for our answers instead of talking so much. Take a moment to sit quietly and remove yourself from futile external forces and you will be able to center yourself on the bigger picture and the things that are really important in your life. You will be able to finally hear that voice of reason and tap into your inner wisdom that is ever growing through every experience. The Most High is ever present but you have to work to maintain your existence in his Light. (You can find many books on meditation and online resources as well)

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  Make a List. Analyze yourself. Rediscover yourself. Make a list of any and everything that helps you to remember and reconnect to who you truly are inside, not just your roles in life that you play for everyone else. Reignite your inner passions. Re-examine your purpose. Some of my recommended lists include: My Hobbies & Favorite Things to Do, Things About Me that No One Knows, Places I Want to Visit, Things that Make Me Happy, My Dreams, Things I Want to Accomplish, My Fantasies, Things I am Embarassed to Talk About, Things I Deserve From My Relationships. Making a list or journaling about these topics and others will have you on your way to being very in-tune with yourself and on track to living a fulfilling life that reflects your true self. You will be able to be honest with yourself as well as with others about what you want out of life and who you truly are, not just what people want and expect you to be.

Always remember, above being a mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, employee, BFF, or businesswoman, you are a WOMAN first! Never let go of that. You are a creation beautifully designed and equipped to carry all of these roles while also maintaining exactly who God ordained you to be. There has never walked another YOU on this earth before, and there will never be another after YOU. So, doesn't that make you a uniquely designed gift and treasure to the world and mankind?!!!

You are so Full of Purpose!

So how dare you put The Most High's plans for you on hold because you're afraid, confused, engulfed in work, too busy, consumed with your relationship?

Stay connected, acknowledge your beauty and abilities, discover your purpose, listen to that voice inside that you're afraid to follow and allow it to guide you to fulfilling your greatness.

I would love to hear about what your going through and how you also regain and maintain center. Fill me with your comments and we can all help each other stay on task.

I am here for you. Love and Peace always,

Phylicia