Song for the Soul: "Gift of Acceptance"- India.Arie

Beautiful song performed by India.Arie at the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize Concert.

  

Take a Shower When in the Rain (poem)

It seems that with my every effort to push forward and upward, I feel these opposing forces trying to defeat me.

I am trying as hard as I can to get back on track, but right when the clouds seem to be finally thinning out, and I think I can see a glimpse of the sun, rain clouds move in and I’m stuck without an umbrella.

But luckily enough, after a few moments, my attitude changes and overcomes… 
          And I just decide to use what I have….

                                     
                               This Rain... 

And just take a shower...                        

              

Written 10/5/06

by Phylicia D. Thomas

Inspirational Song of the Day: “You Can’t Hide From Yourself”- Teddy Pendergrass

Taking it to the disco with the Late Great Teddy Pendergrass! He’s speaking the truth, that “You can’t hide from yourself everywhere you go there you are.”

Inspirational Song of Day: "Sometimes" by Bilal

This is one of favorite songs because it reveals true feelings, emotions, and struggles. It poetically and rhythmically portrays the myriads of raw thoughts and dreams. Since we as humans have so many layers. Plus the groove & vocals are amazing!! Very soulful. I love how it ends...

My “Meantime”- Learning TRUST & SURRENDER

I have spent the past week reading “In the Meantime…” by Iyanla Vanzant. This was not the first time that I have picked up this book, but the first time that I have fully completed it. (I have a old pattern of starting things but not finishing them, especially when they force me to have to make changes in my life.) This time it really touched me. It spoke to me! It hit the nail right on the head and I recommend everyone to read it, male or female. Taking time out over the past week to sit, reflect, and center myself helped be get back on track when I was feeling a little lost. Many times when I’m lost, confused and emotional I retreat. Retreating is good, but only for so long, you must always find a way out and through your issues and back into the experience, back in life, but armed with new information. You can never just retreat and give in. There is no growth in doing that.

I learned two key elements that I need to improve in my life. TRUST & SURRENDER. I don’t know why for the life of me, it is so hard for me, each day KNOWING that my life has promise and purpose, while living in that knowing in all areas of my life, but

Inspirational Song from 12/5/10 “This One’s for the Girls” –Martina McBride

I like this song because it talks about the different stages of life that women experience and how to get through the issues and insecurities that go along with them.
       

Life is LOVE…

It’s amazing in our society, how we are mentally conditioned! We are given so many things to focus on other than our true purpose for being blessed with life. Society passes down this “road map” to the American Dream of Success. When on this journey toward what we think will bring us fulfillment, we wear blinders so nothing can distract us from our course. Most times, those blinders block us from seeing what is actually most important.

How can each individual creation of God follow the same map?

Aren’t we all uniquely purposed and placed here to facilitate change, to enhance life as a whole?

What is the one most important element to strive for? The one thing that we naturally desire and are designed to give and share… is LOVE.

Our whole world revolves around love which comes in many forms: Self-love, Romantic Love, Brotherly Love, Family Love/ Kinship, Maternal/ Paternal Love, Love of God/ Nature/ All things. It is demonstrated so beautifully in nature, the love and care that was articulated through Creation how every facet of life is equally provided for. God is Love and we were created from Love to have Love and share Love. It is our greatest gift and the only solution to the emptiness and confusion we often feel. Only Love can fill the void.

Since our society doesn’t always promote the value of Love being most important in life, it is difficult for us to re-program our thinking once we find that the things we strive for on the surface of life still leave us unfulfilled. We must search deeper. “Surface Living” keeps us entertained, distracted, achieving man-made standards and goals, and prevents us from learning how to think and channel a deeper side of ourselves. Imagine how just keeping your television & computer off for one week would allow you time to open your mind and change your life. But in the meantime, we’re chasing vain or selfish goals, money, degrees, jobs, and the highlife and not taking time out for what really counts.

Can you imagine your life without love? Can you imagine what your life would be like if you focused more on attaining and maintaining love? Well, first you must acknowledge that Love starts within you. We must make efforts to truly appreciate, value, accept, and love ourselves first in order to spread love to others. Everything meaningful was created from love. Remember that the only true way to defeat physical death is by what you do in this life that lives on beyond your physical being. Love never dies.

Inspirational Song of The Day: “You Gotta Be”- Des’ree

"My Stuff" - Poem Inspired by the movie "For Colored Girls"

Did I let somebody take my STUFF??!!
Am I allowing you to steal my joy?
To steal my thoughts?
To steal the dreams and visions of fantasies of what love could be like?


Am I in a daily tug-of-war trying to retrieve back my warmth, my peace, my sanity, my hope... before it's gone?

Maybe I just foolishly gave my STUFF away?
And you just greedily, glutinously devoured my STUFF!! 


But I have to hold on to ME, so that I will have a ME to give one day!

These men with their issues are taking my STUFF!!
These damn bills are takin' my STUFF!!
This stress is taking my STUFF!!
This year!!...
Death & Loss!!...
Grieving!!...
Unemployment!!...
Facing each heartbroken day...

It's all taking my damn STUFF!!

But you know what?...

Inspirational Song of the Day: "Moment in Life"- Musiq ft. Cee-Lo & Kindred

New Weekly Posts- "Sunday's Sentiments"

Thank you Sisters and Friends for bearing with me these past couple of weeks. I needed to take some much needed time for restructuring on many levels in my life. And I am now refreshed, re-centered and re-focused. I hope you all can understand. With that said, I am introducing a new weekly post called Sunday's Sentiments, which will be a writing and reflective thought that we can refer to and implement for the new coming week. So please enjoy this first edition and please share any reactions or comments. I love and appreciate your feedback!
____________________________________________________

Exploring Our Thoughts of Direction

Throughout my life, at any given moment, thoughts and ideas always pop in and flood my head. Theses thoughts can vary from creative inventions, profound questions, or a voice telling me to do this or go there. I used to not  think much of these thoughts, maybe they were just figments of my imagination or hopeless dreams. However, as I have grown, I have come to realize that these thoughts are much more. They are special gifts from The Divine. The whole process itself is astonishing once you acknowledge how amazing we are, as a creation, in our abilities.

First, God has designed us so beautifully that we have these wonderful minds of ours that are able to create, question, and grow! This is no accident, which also means that our profound thoughts and ideas are also no accident. All we have to do is exercise our mind and constantly remind ourselves that we should cherish this ability and not take it for granted. Putting our thoughts and creativity into action leads us to living fulfilling lives.
Secondly, not only has God equipped us with the tools and ability of the mind, but he gives us opportunity to allow him inside of us to give our thoughts direction. Meaning, when we have those heart-warming, puropseful thoughts, we can rest assured that they are directed from a deep place. If you're ever unsure or confused about what steps to take, prayer for understanding and discernment, followed by quiet meditation will help you to confirm and receive guidance.

So what do we do when we get these thoughts?? Honestly, on average, most of us do nothing. This creates stagnation in our lives when we should be steadily moving forward. Acting on our thoughts of direction makes room for more direction and guides us continuously on our paths. Let's use Cheryl as an example.

Inspirational Song of the Day: "I Choose" by India Arie

Inspirational Song of the Day: "Maybe" -Angie Stone

I was in the car listening to music and thinking about what my next blog post would be about and the topic of being "Unequally Yoked" came to the forefront of my mind. Then this song came on, "Maybe" by Angie Stone. Just listen to the words and reflect on your relationships. It might be time to get serious or clean house.

Inspirational Song of the Day: New Day by Patti Labelle

Providing Ourselves with Comfort- "Getting to Happy"

 
     Last night while reading Terry McMillan's new book Getting to Happy, the sequel to Waiting to Exhale, I had one of those "Aha" moments.
She wrote:

All I can do is look around the room and hear how loud the silence is already. My marriage is over. I live alone now. This is not the way I dreamed it. This is not what I had hoped for, what I asked for. I want to skip this part. I want to push the fast-forward button until I get back to happy. In fact, I wish Issac would walk back inside this house and wrap his arms around me and hold me close, the way he used to, because even though I know he's the source of this brand-new pain, he's really the only one who can stop it.

      I thought that these words were so profound, so raw and true and honest to real female emotion. And so true to how I feel right now...
Many times our love and the satisfying of our emotions can completely overrule our logic. Despite all the hurt and pain that a relationship gone bad can cause, sometimes even after it's over, you still miss the comfort that it used to bring. We remember and yearn for that person and see them as being our source of comfort even though we know that, that person has also been the source of so much pain.

Why do we do this?
Why do we have this uncontrollable feeling of attachment?

Sometimes I wish I could just snap my fingers and make up mind that I was instantly no longer in love...
Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much
Then I wouldn't have to worry about my next step
Or if I was handling the situation the right way

If I didn't love so much then I wouldn't care so much
Or spend my day avoiding tears
And spend my nights staring at the ceiling

Where is that "fast-forward button" to happy??!!

Tears of a "STRONG BLACK WOMAN!!" Missing her Father

How easy it is to make plans, appointments, business calls, and business arrangements...

But ever so still stands the underlying motivational force... of pain,
        ... of heartache
           ... of disbelief and shock.
It moves me,
       though I ignore it.
It conjures up feelings that I repress.


And why??!!

Because I'm a "STRONG BLACK WOMAN!!"

I'm a fighter, I'm a worker!

I've got moves to make and bills to pay!

But aren't I also... Simply Human??!!
A feeler of emotion?
A susceptible embarker upon tragedy?


I want to feel!
I want to scream!!
I want to be allowed to go crazy,
      to acceptably be understood as a human with vulnerabilities!!!
To kick and punch in a moment of tantrum and disbelief,
Not quite understanding at the moment why my father had to leave this earth so soon!!!!

Can't I just relish in the pure ignorance and irrational cognition that emotion and pain bring??!!

The Meaning of Complete: Creating Balance in Your Life

Artwork by Artemis-Artist.com

How many of us live tragically content with incompleteness?...
Settled with a resignation to the search for truth, for realness, for what it means to be naturally and completely human.

This gets me to thinking about balance, the theory of The Yin & The Yang.

Not only as women, but as human beings, our life should be dedicated to bringing balance to all aspects of our lives, in our gradual evolution toward completeness. According to the Taoist theory of the Yin and the Yang, the circle represents "the undifferential Unity out of which all of existence arises." The black and white halves within the circle represent feminine and masculine energies whose balance creates the complete One.

Yin & Yang are Co-Arising and Interdependent:


The curves and circles of the Yin-Yang symbol imply a kaleidoscope-like movement. This implied movement represents the ways in which Yin and Yang are mutually-arising, interdependent, and continuously transforming, one into the other. One could not exist without the other, for each contains the essence of the other. Night becomes day, and day becomes night. Birth becomes death, and death becomes birth (think: composting). Friends become enemies, and enemies become friends. Such is the nature - Taoism teaches - of everything in the relative world. (http://taoism.about.com/od/visualsymbols/p/YinYang.htm)

Now let's take that concept and apply it to ourselves!

Bottled Up: Are You Like Me, Do You Hold A Lot In?

1960s Sad Crying Woman Trapped Inside Glass Bottle
IMAGE: © H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Corbis

You know what...
I'm just gonna be very real, very honest.

Are you anything like me?

Do you start each day (before applying your clothes, before applying your make-up, before applying that new perfume) applying your strong-face?

I usually try to apply it before I get out the bed. Sometimes its the only way that I even make it out of the bed each day.

My strong-face is me at my optimal self. That me that I portray to the world.

My strong-face is an outer mask and an inner stopper.

It outwardly projects to everyone around that I smiling and okay, that I'm strong and fearless, that I can quickly overcome obstacles in a single bound... Like SUPERWOMAN

It inwardly plugs a cork into my fermenting, bottled up emotions, allowing me to not feel them right now, allowing me funtion in accordance to societal standards accepting inhumane circumstances such as:

• 3 paid days of grievance after losing a parent
• women having to work up to their pregnancy due dates because they can't afford not to then to have to return a week after delivery just to keep their job
• having to accept minimum wages and deadend jobs
•  not understanding the reasons why
• never feeling fully in control of your life because there is another system in place established to control it.

As Women, We MUST have Standards!!

Even though this post title is targeted at women, the topic actually applies to everyone.

I was sitting "with myself" enjoying a wonderful breakfast, mango mimosa and taking in a wonderful view, when I started thinking. "What Happened to Standards?" Have I lost touch with mine? Have I ever really taken out the time to truly establish them? Do I uphold them in every situation? With each person equally?

Take time to ask yourself and really evaluate where you stand and what you stand on. Do you have a firm solid foundation or just a flaky, crumbling crust?

So many times during our growth we refer to or envision the person that we want to be, our ultimate, empowered self. Why aren't we that person now? What keeps us from being that person?
We should put our best efforts forth each day toward implementing and putting into practice a single element  of our "ultimate self." One element at a time we blossom into that person, a new and improved self. 

"How did I lose myself?!!" - How to Regain & Maintain Your Center

How many times have you found yourself asking that question, "How did I lose myself?" Women, by nature are very nurturing and compassionate creatures. We have a lot of strength, and large capacity to love and give. Because of this, we often times carry others' weight and take on the emotional load of their issues and conditions. We are willing to give of ourselves to make others' situations better or to aid them in growth and bettering themselves. In the meantime, we aren't able to give ourselves that same attention and care. Whether it be a significant other, family, friends, or children. We feel this sense of being "called to duty," so to speak, to be the backbone of any situation. We become the carrier and bearer of the load.

How do we constantly get to this place?

How do we learn to simply take care of ourselves sometimes? Protect ourselves?

Do you sometimes find yourself in a place where you wonder, "What happened to my passion, my hobbies? How do I regain that place, the center, my source and my foundation? And if I do regain it how do I stay there?"

Here is what I suggest to regain and maintain your Center:

I am in Spring - Keeping Faith in Tough Times

I have been feeling a little down lately. Stressed out, overwhelmed, taking care of everyone but myself, over-extending myself. Moving, moving, moving, going, going, going. Head churning, Heart pounding pushing and pushing myself but getting nowhere. No forward movement. No abundant harvest. Wondering "When will my time come!" but knowing I need to do more things but differently, more effectively. Remembering that all movement is not forward motion. A lot of times we fool ourselves with busy work. So then I became frustrated with myself for not do
 ing enough, for not having the time or better yet making the time. So yesterday I went for a ride and sat by

The I.N.G., Ode to a Long Distance Relationship (poem)

24 hours ago you were lay-ING
next to me
Three hours later you were driv-ING
back home
Then 16 hours later I was miss-ING
you

Now I'm cry-ING
But not because I miss you

I'm cry-ING
because of hope
I'm cry-ING
because of pain
I'm cry-ING
because of try-ING
Trying so hard for us

Life is a I.N.G.

So I sit and try meditat-ING
but my heart is rac-ING
and my mind won't sit still

Because I am Enough

I sometimes have to remind myself that just me is enough
I don't need to be like, look like, sound like, dress like or talk like anyone else but me because I am enough
Sometimes I think to myself and wonder are my little thoughts and ideas really that profound? Can I really make a difference? Am I really that great?
Then I look around, or see the people on tv and can't help but compare myself.
How did they accomplish this or that?
What makes them more special than me or their ideas better?
But there is no comparison
I have learned that I am enough

Every thought and idea, I cherish as a profound gift from God
Every blemish on my face or body is exactly what makes me beautiful and connects me to you
Every weakness that I am molding into a strength
Every insecurity
Every tear
Every moment of confusion
All add to the beauty of God's creating me
Not only simply because they exist, but because of everything that I have within me to overcome them

First Day of Spring - Living in the Fullness of each Day

Time moves
Everything changes
I am learning to embrace life and live freely in it
Sometimes I wish those closest to me could feel it as I feel it
Or see it as I
Life is beautiful each day
Every feeling or sensation
Every moment of sight
The awareness of how breathing feels
Or how precious our heart beat is
All makes life worth living

Love - Finding Love Within Yourself

written 2-9-10

I find that when I read back over a lot of my writing (I do a lot of writing & poetry), it is mostly about love and relationships. As much as I would like to say I write about more “profound” things, I write about him. Love is the center of life. It draws out your deepest emotions, heals deep hurts, overlooks faults and comes in many shapes and forms. Love is inspiring. It draws out your deepest emotions and your deepest self. It is the ultimate reflection of you. The people in your life and the people who you love, give you insight to yourself. They are reflections of you at any given moment in your life.

Love helps me to know myself and God. Love drives and directs everything that I do. Love is my source and my motivation to be better. My love of my family and friends, my love of myself, the love I already have for my future children, the love I am seeking from my future spouse. These things keep me afloat. I am love and so are you. The path to love (which I am reading, by Deepak Chopra), starts within you. It is not external.

Discovering Where Your Beauty Lies

Do you think you’re beautiful? Do you know you’re beautiful? Do you BELIEVE that you are beautiful?

I KNOW that you are!!

What does it mean to be beautiful? What is beauty? Where is it? Who is the person or people who dictate what beauty is? Do fashion models set the bar, famous actors or singers, fashion stylists, people on tv or in the magazines? Is it the guys you see at school, on the street, or at the club? Do these people set the bar for deciding or judging whether you are beautiful or not? Maybe it's what you see in the music videos? The half dresses girls that the rappers seem to love and the guys talk about at school or on the street. Do you compare yourselves to them

I Have My Own Path - My Path to Self

Burgeon in Light by Malcolm Farley
The young woman basks in the warmth of the light from within. Malcolm captures this moment of being extraordinary as the golden light overcomes her essence. No matter what seems to be the reality of the external life, she knows that the truth of the matter is she was born with magnificence. This amazing being has gone within, surrendered herself and turned to light of Spirit so that she may flourish.

Growth definitely requires pain. As one of my favorite singers Ledisi sings, “If I could, change my world it would be the same. There would still be love and pain. ‘Cus without it I would never change.” Change, or even better, transformation takes more than just reading some book, or listening to a speaker or preacher. True transformation occurs when you have developed and evolved into something different, something better. It’s not a thought or a notion, it is a state of being. Since we are all co-creators of our lives transformation has to begin with a decision and a deep dedication to being a better person.
We have to define for ourselves, what life is, and what about it is important to us. It takes having a lot of patience with ourselves as well as a mental/emotional cleansing.


I learned for myself that a lot of what I believed about life and the way to go about living it was basically what I was taught to think of it. Like all of us. But there came a point in my life where I began to hear a deeper voice, see a different side of life and recognize the vanity and selfishness comprised of mine.