The Meaning of Complete: Creating Balance in Your Life

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How many of us live tragically content with incompleteness?...
Settled with a resignation to the search for truth, for realness, for what it means to be naturally and completely human.

This gets me to thinking about balance, the theory of The Yin & The Yang.

Not only as women, but as human beings, our life should be dedicated to bringing balance to all aspects of our lives, in our gradual evolution toward completeness. According to the Taoist theory of the Yin and the Yang, the circle represents "the undifferential Unity out of which all of existence arises." The black and white halves within the circle represent feminine and masculine energies whose balance creates the complete One.

Yin & Yang are Co-Arising and Interdependent:


The curves and circles of the Yin-Yang symbol imply a kaleidoscope-like movement. This implied movement represents the ways in which Yin and Yang are mutually-arising, interdependent, and continuously transforming, one into the other. One could not exist without the other, for each contains the essence of the other. Night becomes day, and day becomes night. Birth becomes death, and death becomes birth (think: composting). Friends become enemies, and enemies become friends. Such is the nature - Taoism teaches - of everything in the relative world. (http://taoism.about.com/od/visualsymbols/p/YinYang.htm)

Now let's take that concept and apply it to ourselves!
First, picture these two different, but similar examples of imbalance that occur commonly in our society.

Ex.1: An overly masculine male always having to prove that he's "no homo" by any sense of the word. He is very aggressive, lead by his ego, and feels the need to express his macho-ism by "conquering" as many women as possible. He rarely identifies with, and especially doesn't express any true emotion, only the secondary emotion of anger is acceptable to be seen by the outside world. This man's aim is money, power, and respect. After these things are attained he still finds himself unfulfilled.

Ex. 2: A very passive woman of few words, taught to always be lady like and submissive. This woman is only a shadow of her existing Self. She accepts others mistreatment of her, and just lets things "slide." She believes it's not worth "rocking the boat", and doesn't appreciate her own voice, so she never demands to be heard. She is overly sensitive because of so much pinned up emotion. No one knows who she truly is. She has become a servant and a "pleaser" of others: her family, her husband, her kids, her friends. Though she has fulfilled her "womanly duties" by becoming a wife and mother, she is still lacking inner happiness.

We see these scenarios far too often and I'm sure all of us can identify to them in some small way, if not completely. What is similar between these two individuals is the lack of balance between the masculine and feminine qualities within them. That is why they lack completeness.

So commonly in our society, we are taught to be one quality or the other instead of an interconnected balance of both energies (totally embracing what makes us human, what God created) and this leaves us lost, steered into darkness and in need of some reprogramming. If you have ever met or experienced a person whom you admired as being the true epitome of a man or a woman, a person you admired or aspired to be like, it was probably because you recognized and were inspired by their balance and completeness. As a woman, I am always astonished by and attracted to a man who is masculine and strong but can also acknowledge his feelings and be in tune with his emotions. However, I am turned off if he is out of balance and is either too sensitive and emotional or too macho and pretends that emotions don't exist.

We women are guilty of it too!

Take a look in the mirror. What areas need balance in your life?

Are you overly sensitive and passive? Try speaking up for yourself and harnessing your authoritative masculine qualities. Set boundaries for yourself that shouldn't be crossed by others. Don't always just let things "slide" with passivity. Discover and bring forth your masculine qualities of strength and power, and balance them with the feminine qualities you already posses.

Now on the flip side, are you an overly aggressive woman throwing around too much power, and using fear and intimidation to get respect? Try just being yourself. Understand that the world is not a battlefield and you don't have to constantly fight and protect yourself. Let go and nurture yourself. Embrace your feminine qualities without viewing them as weaknesses.

Finding balance takes a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. You have to first find the answer to why you are the way you are in order to learn yourself and make a true change toward being your complete Self.

How do you struggle with balance in your life?

What is your opinion on finding balance and completeness?

Post your answers and opinions below.