Providing Ourselves with Comfort- "Getting to Happy"

 
     Last night while reading Terry McMillan's new book Getting to Happy, the sequel to Waiting to Exhale, I had one of those "Aha" moments.
She wrote:

All I can do is look around the room and hear how loud the silence is already. My marriage is over. I live alone now. This is not the way I dreamed it. This is not what I had hoped for, what I asked for. I want to skip this part. I want to push the fast-forward button until I get back to happy. In fact, I wish Issac would walk back inside this house and wrap his arms around me and hold me close, the way he used to, because even though I know he's the source of this brand-new pain, he's really the only one who can stop it.

      I thought that these words were so profound, so raw and true and honest to real female emotion. And so true to how I feel right now...
Many times our love and the satisfying of our emotions can completely overrule our logic. Despite all the hurt and pain that a relationship gone bad can cause, sometimes even after it's over, you still miss the comfort that it used to bring. We remember and yearn for that person and see them as being our source of comfort even though we know that, that person has also been the source of so much pain.

Why do we do this?
Why do we have this uncontrollable feeling of attachment?

Sometimes I wish I could just snap my fingers and make up mind that I was instantly no longer in love...
Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much
Then I wouldn't have to worry about my next step
Or if I was handling the situation the right way

If I didn't love so much then I wouldn't care so much
Or spend my day avoiding tears
And spend my nights staring at the ceiling

Where is that "fast-forward button" to happy??!!

But, you know what?... One thing I have learned, is that happiness is not a certain period of time.

Happiness comes from being at peace within yourself and centered in God.

Happiness is a state of being.

And I can honestly say that even though I may experience waves of hurt and pain, as we all do,

My inner happiness and peace sustains

It's okay that I cry

It's good that I feel

I appreciate everything that comes along with the blessing of being alive

Does my heart hurt?...

       Yes. In many ways.

Do I sometimes wish I could snap my fingers and everything would work out and we live happily ever after?...

       Of course, but I have to live with the realities of life and the situation before me and put the love and respect that I have for myself before anyone else.

We must, as women, promise to never be de-valued, unappreciated, or disrepected!

For now I must comfort myself and wrap my own arms around those hurts and pains in need of healing and nurturing.

Though I may yearn for the arms of another, knowing that I have learned to use my own feels soooo much better, because only on them and God can I rely.